A few thoughts on trauma:

I offer the following words as a peer. I speak from my own personal experiences with complex trauma, observations of others undergoing trauma, and from what I have learned during my own ongoing healing. I offer it here in case it is helpful.

Trauma is a subjective experience. Observers looking at the situation from the outside do not know if it is traumatic or not. The medical team might think an uncomplicated vaginal birth went just great, but it might have been very traumatic for the mother. And another mother might feel very positive, reassured, and relieved about her unplanned emergency cesarean birth even though the medical team might be concerned it was traumatic for her.

When trauma responses are likely to happen: The nature of shock trauma is we usually do not have conscious awareness or control of when we go into the trauma response. We might not even be aware it has occurred!

It is more likely that trauma response occurs when events occur in a way that are:

—sudden

—overwhelming

—there is a lack of control

—our nervous system perceives danger and protects us (usually before our intellectual, pre-frontal cortex is aware of it)

Experience of the other parent (or witnessing loved one): Something important to bring awareness to is that the other parent is often significantly impacted by witnessing their partner’s traumatic labor/birth, but because their trauma is “less than” the birthing mother’s trauma they feel they can’t say they need help too. This is especially true if there are expectations of them being in the role of protector/support person. The partner can feel profound helplessness and powerlessness when fearing for the safety of their partner and child but is unable to take action to help them. This can cause significant trauma.

You might have gone home slightly shell shocked and knowing your experience was “wrong” or “upsetting” or was “intense and scary,” but not aware of how traumatizing it was for you. Or you might be very well aware.

Recognizing signs of birth trauma PTSD:

• feeling disconnected from yourself or others

• difficulty bonding with your baby

• feeling numb or emotionally overwhelmed

• feeling intense sadness, grief, shame, guilt, anger/rage or other difficult feelings

• feeling on edge: irritability & high anxiety, hyper-alert

• feeling shut down and having difficulty performing daily care for yourself and your baby

• Intrusive and/or racing thoughts, flashbacks, nightmares, panic attacks

• sleep difficulties or insomnia

• appetite changes

• avoidance behaviors and coping mechanisms (distractions, working extra, drinking etc.)

• inability to tell your birth story, or compulsion to tell your story many times

• physical pain, nausea, dizziness that medically cannot be explained

• feeling detached from your body

• difficulty expressing your feelings or talking about your experience

  ****If you become aware you are a danger to yourself, your baby, or anyone else please seek emergency care immediately ****

The list above is not exhaustive, many mothers and fathers experience a wide range of responses. It might be more subtle than what is listed above, you may feel as if you are just “off,” but you can’t get a grasp on what exactly is the issue. You might feel as if you are behind a glass, separate from the world and wondering what is wrong with you.

I will say, nothing is wrong with you, these are natural states of post traumatic stress. The trauma is “sitting” within your nervous system, waiting to be attended to but still active in your life.

Your nervous system might have been very efficient and sufficiently buried the trauma so well you can’t access it for years. Maybe it has been decades and now the trauma from birthing and/or other events that was suppressed for so long is surfacing now. This is very normal with trauma. Whether it has been days or years I can help be a witness as your healing occurs.

The Healing Frequencies I work with reach areas of the nervous system affected by trauma. In our sessions, when you are ready (after receiving supportive healing) you will be invited to drop into your body and feel emotions that were not safe to feel previously. It is helpful to return to and honor what could not be processed and attended to at the time.

Your nervous system protected you from these emotions but they want to be returned to, as they still exist and are active within you. While in a safe container of Healing Frequencies they can be felt with support. This way the energy becomes alchemized and flow and freedom can be restored.