An essay on a few of my thoughts on birth trauma

I am not a psychologist or neuroscientist. But here is my lay-person, peer-to-peer understanding of trauma and some brief thoughts from what I witnessed in the hospital and an ob-gyn clinic.

Traumas that occur during childbirth arise from many factors, and it’s important to remember trauma is completely subjective. It might have been caused by what was happening to your body or your baby, or because of how you were treated by the staff, or mismanagement of the situation, or any combination of events.

Trauma occurs when our nervous system is overwhelmed beyond it’s capacity in the face of something our nervous system perceives as a threat.

This can occur before our mind can “correct” our nervous system and say, “no - it will be okay”. Before your thinking mind can react or intervene with reason your survival part of your brain has already initiated a trauma response.

In shock trauma it can be that fast, before you have a chance to have a thought!

Because trauma is subjective to your body’s experience, this is why there can be a “mis-match.” What was seen by medical staff as a “routine” birth with a good outcome might have actually been traumatic to you, your baby or your partner.

Thankfully, some women have a gentle and/or empowering birth and this is wonderful, and we celebrate it! But if this was not your experience it was not your fault!

Just a couple reasons among countless are listed below:

Birth is a portal. The veil is thin. Even if we are reassured we are safe we hold the ancestral memory of risk to our lives and the life of our baby. These ancestral memories can be triggered easily in the hospital setting (or really in any setting) and fear can occur.

Some women (not all) find sensations of labor and the experience of birth, sometimes even when an epidural is used, to be overwhelming. In general I have found women are infantilized by the system during prenatal care and are not are prepared for the immensity of the initiation of birth. This sets up a situation that causes women to potentially feel betrayed, dis-empowered and helpless.

Power taken away: I have witnessed and felt the innate power of the Great Mother Divine flowing through the bodies of her children — her sovereign, powerful, capable daughters - and felt it clash with the dense limitations of the medical industry that is rooted in patriarchy. This is an injury.

I have also seen the medical industry and brilliant, skilled, warm-hearted people in it frequently save lives, act as the helpers and conduit of life, shepherding families safely through scary and traumatic high risk situations.

Now, it is to be admitted some of these crisis situations were created by the system and it’s policies. But yet many other crises are innate in how birth is expressed in nature across time and culture, such as pre-term birth, different obstetric emergencies & complications and even unfathomable loss that is sometimes unavoidable, even with intervention.

This all, of course, is inherently scary. If you end up experiencing risk to yourself or your baby it is naturally a potential trauma, and would be to any nervous system.

I know many in the birth communities, rightfully so, want to move away from fear, and the risk averse mindset found in the culture of medicalization and pathologization of birth in hospital settings. But sticking our head in the sand and denying there is any risk in pregnancy or birth, or denying, dismissing or trying to push away the deep fears that can arise around birth is not going to benefit anyone.

I wish for everyone to engender deep self trust and inward knowing. Acknowledging fear’s role in trying to keep us safe while cultivating listening to our gut, heart, mind and the Great Mother, however she expresses in us, so we can each discern correct action for that moment.

I wish all of us to trust our instincts above all else and for the culture to respect those instincts. I hope for us to develop and nurture the spiritual intuitive “mainline” to the Divine Great Mother flowing through us all. That connection and trust will see us through anything, in any setting, even if crises and emergencies arise.

I do not judge those trying to navigate the systems, no matter their choices. I see nuance in all of this. Everyone comes from a different background which influences values, beliefs, culture, choices. It is so hard to navigate these systems.

What has brought deep humility is over the years I have I watched my own beliefs and impassioned positions on subjects shift and change through lived experience and witnessing. Through my own healing and my desire to be in service, with the ability to hold neutrality, has taken me somewhere else beyond black/white or good/bad.

Yet I very much expect those healing birth trauma to be in the polarity of the good & bad. We cannot spiritually bypass it! If you are tremendously angry or have grief as deep as the deepest ocean that is the appropriate response. I have grieved and still grieve for all those suffering from birth trauma. I can hold your experience in acceptance and knowing.

Blessings on your journey.